A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Moving Forward; or, What Comes Next

I did it! After reading through all your comments and e-mails and listening to my gut, I called to set up my RE consultation. I called kind of late and didn't get through to the nurse, but I left my information and I'm hoping to hear back (or call again) tomorrow. I'm shooting for an appointment date in late August or early September, right around the time I estimate cycle #7 post-miscarriage will begin.

After I made the decision to set the appointment up, I began to second guess myself. What if I'm moving too fast? What if I'm not giving us enough time to get this done on our own? Four months isn't that long to try-- we got our BFP in cycle 7 last time. Maybe we just take a little longer than most people. But then again, Taking Charge of Your Fertility recommends seeking help after four cycles of timed sex that don't succeed.

I still have this fear that I'm making problems up where none exist, and that by worrying over when we'll get pregnant I'm preventing us from conceiving. I think when I schedule the appointment I'll feel a little more secure. And of course I hope that we get pregnant before the appointment and have to cancel. That would be the best outcome! But with only two cycles left to try, I need to be prepared for what comes next.

With all I'm doing this summer-- learning German, renovating our closets, traveling to Scandinavia, writing an article to submit to a journal and a paper for my conference, studying for my orals and working on several seminar papers--it will be August before I know it. And then this show will really start.

17 comments:

  1. I'm glad you called and I'm glad you have so much going on this summer. August seems like so far away, but it will be here before you know.

    Thanks for posting about Alex, too. The more support, the better.

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  2. Yay! Very exciting! I called my RE on a Tuesday and was in the next Thursday. I second guessed myself, until I was sitting in his office, wondering why I hadn't done this sooner. ;)

    Seriously, very happy for you. I always thought the RE was a "last resort" but once I was there, I realized that wasn't the case at all. ;)

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  3. Fantastic that you called. August will be here before you know it. It's one of those things where if nothing is wrong, then you'll be relieved, but if something is wrong, you'll be SO glad you went when you did. Fingers are definitely crossed that you'll not need that appt. with some calm baby vibes between no and then.

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  4. glad you got an appt and are moving forward!!! i'm hoping now that you made the appt, that you'll get lucky before then and won't need the appt. that's happened to a few lucky gals and i'm so envious!!

    you sound like you have a full plate this summer!! lots to distract you until august rolls around :o)

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  5. YAY! I don't think you're moving too fast, I think it's totally rational to set up an appointment at this point. But I also hope that you don't need that appointment after all :-).

    And, I'm totally jealous of your summer plans!! Enjoy that trip - I hope you post lots of pics :-)

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  6. I'd so much rather find out I'm making up problems that don't exist than ignoring problems that do exist.

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  7. Also I am laying the virtual smackdown on you for "by worrying over when we'll get pregnant I'm preventing us from conceiving." Come now. You know better.

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  8. Good for you to make the appointment (well, almost). As others said, better be told that everything looks fine than to keep on trying without knowing and perhaps get upset later when you find that there was a problem after all.
    Your summer sounds great, it will be August in no time!

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  9. That's great news. And consultations are like placeholders...good to have. And you may not even need it (I hope not!). But the fact is that once you have that foot in the door, you've started to take some control over the situation. It's a good feeling, I know. (By the way, it always feels pre-emptive...I think everyone worries about jumping the gun.)

    Sounds like a packed summer, which is GOOD.

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  10. I know how scary it is to take that first step. Feel free to throw something heavy at my head, but I got my first bfp five days before my appointment with my new RE. Here's hoping you will have to cancel too.

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  11. I'm so happy that you called. I know that you are nervous and you don't think you've given yourself enough time, but August isn't far away at all. And, if you get pregnant before that time (which I hope you do), you just cancel. It's as simple as that. But at least the appointment will be set and you have a plan B in place. It's always good to be prepared for anything and now you are.

    I'm glad you have a busy summer, too. I find that the less time I have to focus on trying to have a baby, the less crazy I feel. :)

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  12. Oh man, I ALWAYS wonder if I am jumping the gun by getting all this medical help right now, even though we've only been trying for 7 months since the miscarriage. I keep thinking that maybe, if we just left things alone and didn't use drugs and whatnot, we'd get the same outcomes. But then... who knows? Maybe this IS what it takes. Hell, maybe it'll take even more.

    It's nice to know you're covering the bases, even if you question the necessity of some of it.

    Hopefully you won't even need to keep that appointment and you'll get there on your own. Hey... crazier things have happened.

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  13. Very exciting!! And of course I hope you don't need the appt afterall, BUT I do not thinking your jumping the gun. I think its important to plan ahead, and even if nothing is wrong I think you'll find there is something positive about the thought of someone actually trying to help speed things along. And you're right, August will be here in no time!!

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  14. I think August is a great time to see the RE - it gives you the "summer off" to just enjoy BDing and your marriage and the fun parts of summer while keeping you secure in knowing that if you can't get KU on your own by then you'll have help soon. I'm going to see my OBGYN in September if we haven't gotten pregnant by then on our own.

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  15. Excellent choice. And just 'cause you meet with an RE doesn't mean you have to commit to any kind of intervention. You may very well end up going back to trying on your own, with the added peace of knowing that everything's fine.

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  16. Wonderful news!! Having that RE appointment lined up is a total source of comfort. I really appreciated having it there, even though i haven't used it yet. But if this pregnancy goes south, I will definitely go in there sooner. An IUI is better than sex for getting pregnant even if you don't have issues... I mean really, time to get the show on the road here, right?

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  17. I am so proud of you-- this is a huge step!! Even if there's nothing "wrong" I think that this is the right choice-- perhaps you just need to ovulate a few days earlier or maybe one hormone isn't quite at an optimum level... then BAM!!! You'll reach bliss.

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