Last spring and summer and fall, before I got pregnant, I would play a little game with myself, one of my many tricks to moderate disappointment if and when another cycle didn't pan out. I would think of something I really wanted to do 9-months from then--or an event coming up in the meantime--and decide why it would be much better to not be pregnant then. Missing my sister's college graduation in Maine would have sucked. Not being able to fly to England for a conference would be frustrating. And I really wanted to attend my friend's June wedding in Florida.
When I got pregnant with the m&m, missing my friend's wedding barely even registered as something I considered. I was ecstatic and relieved and overjoyed and I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do on June 26th than welcome a baby into my life.
I'm leaving in twenty minutes or so for the airport. I'm going to Florida for the wedding. I'm glad I'll be away from home, doing something fun and different. I'm glad I can drink and dance and snuggle with my husband and see some good friends from my MA program and get dressed up.
I still wish I couldn't go.
I'm back, and it's hopefully not a once-off!!
4 months ago