A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Waiting on the World to Not Change; or, AF Keeps Things Interesting

(Warning: Those with a low tolerance for discussions of bodily fluids should stop reading now).

I'm blessed to not only have irregular cycles with inconsistent ovulation days (anywhere from day 18 to day 30), but to also have an inconsistent luteal phase. It's always "long enough" but almost never the same length. In the 11 months since I first charted, I've had an LP as short as 10 days and as long as 15.

After pregnancy testing early in my first couple of cycles and realizing that getting the heartbreak of a negative twice in one week does nothing for my spirits, I made a resolution to no longer test before 16 dpo. I've yet to reach that goal.

Today I am either 13 or 14 dpo. And everything in my body tells me my period is on its way. Ravenous eating habits. Bloated lower abdomen and swollen, tender boobs. Looser stool. All the signs are there.


I usually spot before AF comes. And even before that, I'll see a tinge of blood in my cervical fluid. And even before that, I can smell the iron of the blood in the mucus and on the tissue after wiping.

There's no blood. No smell.

If AF is coming, I'd really like her to just hurry up and get here. Because waiting through the weekend only to see her show up on the day I'm supposed to test will REALLY not do anything good for our relationship. And she and I are on uneasy terms at the moment as it is.


  1. *sigh* I hate this.

    Total Catch 22. Would a BFN satisfy the need to test or would it completely ruin your weekend?

  2. I think it would ruin it. I prefer to have a little hope while I still can :) I'm testing Monday, if I make it that far. How much do you want to bet I get it tomorrow?

  3. Fingers crossed for you, friend. Maybe this is the month. :)