A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cycle 7 Stats; or, The Plan, Such As It Is

Tomorrow I'm going to call my gyno and schedule an appointment for early January. We'll be in our 10th cycle and 11th month of trying to conceive. She'll run a battery of tests and we'll discuss options and next steps.

I'm going to tell myself that this is what will happen. I will not expect to get pregnant in the next 2 and 1/2 months. For whatever reason, that's not the direction my journey is going to take. I'm going to focus on finishing up the semester, getting my students' papers graded and final grades in, making it through the holidays, having a fantastic trip to Vegas, and finishing my incomplete papers from last year.

I will not expect to get pregnant. I will not expect to get pregnant. I will not expect to get pregnant.

CD 36 of Cycle 7
10 or 11 dpo
AF anticipated anywhere from tomorrow (if it's 12dpo) to Sunday (if it's 15 dpo)
Slight cramping that comes and goes (typical pms for me)
Ravenous appetite (typical pms)
Bigger boobs (typical pms)

No spotting or bloody smell to cervical mucus.

I'm going to hate myself in a few days for feeling optimistic about this. I have no real reason to, but I can't help imagining when we'll tell the families, how I'll tell my husband, and having a June due date.

I shouldn't imagine I'm pregnant. I'm really going to hate myself. I never learn.


  1. I try to tell myself the same thing...it doesn't work.

    The funny thing is that, even though I so desperately want to be pregnant each month, I cannot comprehend seeing that BFP. It seems totally out of the realm of possibility.

    Making a plan feels productive, though, right?

    Do you chart? Would love to stalk.

  2. I used to, but don't anymore. I just got too stressed out about waking up every morning to do it, which stressed my husband out, etc., etc. I always o'd, even if it was late, when I did chart, so I at least feel positive about that.

    I totally can't picture looking at a positive pregnancy test, either. Actually delivering a baby I can imagine. But not that first step.

  3. I totally understand. Charting makes you crazy.

    Personally, there's nothing I love more than a 5am daily reminder that I'm not pregnant yet.