A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Very Pregnant Weekend; or, The New Tally

The shower was great! A wonderful afternoon of delicious prosecco (and Cava--it's pink and sparkly! How did I not drink this before?) and good food and music in a gorgeous apartment on Park Ave (not mine, clearly). And my friend E was glowing and beautiful and happy and I felt her baby wiggling around inside her 36-weeks-pregnant belly and pulled out all the old-wives' tricks to determine the sex and decided she's having a boy.

And then today we had a nice afternoon watching football and eating Italian food with some couple friends, one of whom is 38 weeks pregnant and probably enjoying her last baby-free weekend.

And then the other couple, who had their sweet, adorable two-year-old with them, announced that they are 13 weeks along.

Which brings the grand total of pregnant women I chilled with this weekend to three. And brings the tally of friends and family who have announced their pregnancies since I started TTC to (drumroll please): NINE. That's right, I have heard nine "We're expecting!"s since March. Who wants to bet I'll hear a tenth before too long?

I'm getting better at taking them in stride. This time, I barely cried at all and not until we were home and all settled into our pjs.

I keep reminding myself of the kind of woman I want to be. Someone gracious and warm. Someone who treats others with consideration and kindness no matter what's going on in my life. Every one of these children deserves to be celebrated and welcomed joyfully--as much as my future little boy or girl will, however he or she may join our lives.

So I'm trying to suck back the sadness and desperation and just be happy for everyone. And if I don't feel quite as generous as I want to be, I'll fake it until I make it.

Quick update on Cycle 7 as it stands:
I'm on day 34.
I estimate I'm either 8dpo or 9dpo
I have my usual pms-type lower abdominal cramps
I have my usual pms-type insatiable hunger for sweets and fat
My boobs are normal sized and not particularly tender
I have had lower back pain for three days.

The back pain is kind of new, and my boobs have usually swelled up by this point, but other than that we're on track for the start of Cycle 8.


  1. Today was a hard one for me, too. I keep having to tell myself that people aren't getting pregnant INSTEAD of me...just BEFORE me. Like a mantra, I'll keep repeating it. I'll let you know if it helps. :)

    I got the dreaded accusation from my mom today of, "You probably aren't pregnant yet because you are stressing out about it too much. You need to relax." End phone call. Begin pint of Starbucks Caramel Macchiato ice cream.

  2. Oh, lord, I had that conversation last night with my MOTHER-IN-LAW! And THEN she pulled out the, "People always get pregnant right after they adopt" card. I love her dearly, but I told her to can it.

    The "I'm not pregnant so I deserve this pint of ice cream" habit is going to fatten me up good before I ever get the BFP.

    It'll happen, though. It'll happen

  3. Wish we didn't live so far apart-- I'd love to meet up with you for a weekly TTC b*tch session complete with all kinds of things we deserve, starting with a bottle of wine. Each.

  4. Oh that would be wonderful. If you come to NYC, let me know for sure.