A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Mental Holidays; or, Requirements of All Kinds

Ich bin frei! Or something. I only learned how (poorly) to translate German into (bad) English, not produce it. Still, the spirit of the above utterance holds, however garbled it may have come out, and I declare today a half holiday in honor of taking (and maybe even passing!) my translation exam this morning and fulfilling one more requirement en route to the doctorate.

Said holiday has thus far consisted of: walking to the Union Square Greenmarket to clear my head of German fumes; picking up baby shower cards and gifts; and eating guacamole and hummus. In an hour or so I have to head back into Manhattan for my therapy appointment and then on to dinner with Clueless Preggo (for whom I picked up said card and gifts).

I was so focused on my exam over the past week that I didn't have time or mental energy to worry about tonight's dinner. And since the exam ended I've been focusing on getting just the right card and wrapping the gifts with just the right paper to keep from worrying about how much we'll talk about the baby, how long I'll be able to keep up a bright and interested facade, how much she'll ask me about our baby-making efforts, and how little (for what ever reasons I don't care to examine too closely right now) I want to share about the last couple of months of shit and sadness.

It will be fine, I know it will be fine. And it may also be frustrating and upsetting and depressing (or--here's a crazy thought-- maybe even fun). It will be what it will be, and since I've decided I'm going through with it, I'd rather not think about it too much beforehand.

I have more important matters on which to dwell, anyway. Like pondering the best way to eviscerate the card designer who came up with this gem I encountered at the card shop a few hours ago:

Seriously, barf, right? Just what smug pregnant ladies need, encouragement for their vile self-absorption in printed-, folded-paper form. Do you think anyone would mind if I torched the store tonight?


  1. What!? That card is SOOOO offensive! Can you imagine even buying that for someone? It would be totally insulting! Wow, that totally makes me angry. Yes, you should torch something- perhaps whoever designed the card.

    More importantly, CONGRATULATIONS on passing your test! Very very exciting. You deserve a break from school. At least a week of mental rest, I believe. Starting as soon as you get back from dinner with clueless. I hope it does tend towards the fun side, but if not, just imagine all the snarky things you'll tell us all about afterwards. :)

  2. OMG. Please. Buy the card and torch. Immediately. I would pay money to watch you do it. Actually, I would consider flying up there to help you light it on fire. Then we could drink heavily and laugh about stupid pregnant people.

    That's great about your exam! I'm giving you a virtual pat on the back. :)

  3. umm, wth on that card? If someone bought that for me when I was finally pregnant after all this time I would be PISSED!

    Best of luck at dinner tonight, I hope that clueless is very supportive and compassionate.

    Enjoy the half day of mental health - well deserved, Sloper!

  4. You are brave to even go into a store to buy a baby gift and card, let alone meet with clueless preggo. Oh and that card should be torched! Good luck tonight and we'll be here to hear all about it tomorrow.

  5. Hooray for getting your exam out of the way! And where's that horrifying card from? Is it Lion in the Sun? I'll boycott, I will. I've actually never shopped there, but ohhh, will I not-shop there with a vengeance in the future. Yay, Greenmarket! Take good care of yourself, and may Clueless shock you with her delightful sensitivity.

  6. i hope dinner went well tonight. i hope you actually had fun!

  7. Hi--new reader here. Can you tell clueless preggo to limit the baby babble? I think sometimes we are too timid to tell others what we need when generally they would be glad to give it to us. Granted, it is a difficult conversation, but no need to martyr ourselves when we're in enough pain. I have found infertility to be a great way to sieve through my friends. Most of them have withstood the test. Even those that got pregnant the first month they tried.

  8. I hope your dinner wasn't too painful, Slopie. How are you feeling?

    Congrats on finishing your exam!!! Your day of hummus and wandering sounded like heaven to me. xo

  9. Er... I'm sure that designer never came in contact with anyone struggling to conceive or stay pregnant.
    But Herzlichen Glückwunsch on your exam! Freisein sounds very good.

  10. I hope your dinner went well. Let us know!

    Seriously, that card is beyond horrible.

  11. Congrats on the exam! And seriously. That card is totally disgusting. Smug is an understatement!

  12. ::hands Sloper a match::

    I'm sure you've seen this before, but it always makes me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8