A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Weekend Update; or, Jane Austen Makes Everything Better

It was a good weekend. I kept busy, spending time with friends and Lawyer Guy. Even the crappy weather couldn't get me down. Saturday I went to yoga and had brunch with a friend who's going through IF testing right now, then ate dinner in Manhattan (mac 'n' cheese, the official meal of the 2ww) and attended a 30th birthday party for a friend who sang rock and roll karaoke with a band at a club. Yesterday I went to Palm Sunday Mass at a church in Brooklyn I'd heard good things about. The music was gorgeous and the community seemed friendly and supportive (and not excessively young-family heavy), so I'm sure I'll be back. Lawyer Guy cooked a delicious dinner and I watched most of the BBC Pride & Prejudice from 1996 (which I justified to myself as homework for my Jane Austen class) and worked on the blanket I'm knitting and went to bed in a good mood.

I'm still in a good mood today, a lot of which I'm sure is thanks to being on Spring Break and looking at a week of (productive) downtime to come. But some of it is also due to the decisions I've made about moving forward with my TTC plans next cycle.

I'm fairly certain I'm not pregnant and will be getting my period in a few days. It's disappointing, but I have an appointment scheduled with my doctor for April 8th, and I'm determined to have blood work done. Last week I did some reading up on thyroid disorders, and I think there's at least a chance that I have one. It would account for my cycles suddenly becoming irregular two or three years ago and even possibly for the miscarriage. I probably don't need to start seeing an RE yet (I'll save that for 6 months of post-miscarriage TTC), but this blood work is something my OB can do and will give us at least a bit more information to go on.

I also made an appointment with a new therapist for tomorrow. She seemed very nice on the phone, and I'm hopeful that this will be a better therapy relationship than the one I have with my current therapist. She's also much more conveniently located to my school, so that's a bonus!

And a lot of other positive things are happening: the BIL and SIL and nieces decided not to attend the seder tomorrow after all; I was able to avoid the mass crowds of baby gushers by visiting niece #2 in the hospital last week rather than at their home this weekend; we heard from our accountant that we'll be getting a larger refund this year than expected, so we can plan our trip to Scandinavia for August; the invitations we're sending out for my 30th birthday party in May just arrived!

All in all, it's been a good 2ww. I was worried last month that the week before my period would be similarly miserable for the rest of the time we were trying, but I suspect I just had to grieve the return to the TTC routine. As hard as it was to cry almost every day during that time (and as much as it upset and worried Lawyer Guy to see it), I'm glad I let myself feel and release those emotions, because I'm much better off now.

I'm sure I'll be sad when I get my period later this week, but I'm already looking forward to next cycle and the one after that, so I don't think it will hurt too much. Right now, I have faith that eventually we'll get our baby. Amazing what a good weekend will do!

* edited because I spelled "seder" wrong the first time. Wow, I am super embarrassed right now, because this will only be the tenth one I've gone to with Lawyer Guy. I blame my terrible spelling abilities, rather than a lack of knowledge about Judaism.


  1. Yay! How fabulous! I'm happy to hear about the new therapist, and the fact that you get to avoid the troublesome in-laws, AND that you've got a plan for getting more info while you try naturally. I'll continue to hope that you get a surprise extra bit of good news in a few days...

  2. Wow, you sound totally refreshed and rejuvinated! Good for you! :)

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. You are an amazing women with an incredible positive perspective.

    I think the blood work at your ob/gyn is a fantastic idea-- be prepared to be your own best advocate about this. The medical community at large and fertility specialists have a very different idea about what "normal" is.

    My ob/gyn was convinced that at 5.51, my TSH was fine and she had no plans to do anything about it. Putting me on Synthroid was the first thing the RE did (well, other than Clomid)and one month later, it happened. I don't think this was a coincidence.

    So happy that you had a fantastic weekend!! BTW, when is May is the big bday?! :)

  5. I'm so happy that you're in a good emotional state... I don't think you can know anything from lack of symptoms, but I agree that it is much safer to assume that you aren't pregnant.
    Glad you got to enjoy seder without the in laws! And Scandinavia sounds cool- family? or just vacation? I've heard that renting a boat and touring the islands of the Baltic is awesome.

  6. You sound like you're in a great place right now, I'm happy to read it :-). I hope you love the new therapist, I'm sure she'll be much better than your old one.

    And awesome about the larger than expected tax refund :-)

  7. This is all such good stuff. Yay for Spring Break! And yip that SIL and BIL won't be at sedar! Sounds good on the TSH testing...as I mentioned, getting on thyroid meds made a big diff for my old coworker (and Stef, too, of course!) so IF that is an issue, I am confident that resolving it could mean very good things.

  8. Scandinavia sounds amazing! I'm glad this wait is going okay, even if you aren't especially hopeful. I can still be hopeful for you!

    So, I had strange symptoms with my TSH. Before I was diagnosed as hypo, my head would get cold. Despite outdoor or indoor temperature, I'd feel like I needed a hat, or a sleeping cap (do they even sell those?) to keep my noggin warm. After my dose was given and then subsequently adjusted, it went away. My RE says that she treats anyone over 2.0 who is TTC, too, so if it's higher than that and they don't recommend treating you, it's worth a second opinion.

  9. Sounds like it was a great weekend, and good things are continuing to happen!! I love your attitude, you will get your baby...and I'm still holding out for this month!! But I also this its great to be your own advocate...and get the thyroid checked out. Can't hurt, and if there is an issue and you fix it, then it can only help you get closer to that BFP!!!

  10. I'm so glad that you've had a lovely weekend and that you're feeling so positive - it's amazing what a bit of Elizabeth Bennett's sharp wit can do for one's mood!

  11. you're knitting a blanket?! me too!! are you using a pattern? i love to hear other knitters' tips and tricks!