A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Updates; or, How to Choose?

Something unexpected happened last week after I updated everyone on my OB search: I had a callback from another high-risk practice, this one associated with the hospital where Dr. Wonderful is based, and was able to set up another appointment for Friday, the day after my first appointment with the other OB.

This raises two questions:

One) Assuming everything goes okay at the first OB appointment (a large assumption, I understand), should I refuse to have an u/s at the second appointment? I'm worried that back-to-back ultrasounds could harm Smudgie.

Two) How do I make this choice? Gut instinct based on meeting the doctors? Research on the two hospitals in question (both excellent, with excellent NICUs and private rooms available)? The size of the practices? Some factor I'm not even aware of yet?

I'll have to make this decision myself. Lawyer Guy is super busy at work right now and can only take the time to make one appointment. He's coming to the first so he can be there to get reassurance/find out if something is wrong. I'm going alone to the second, so the choice will be my responsibility. Tense!

The closer we get to 9 weeks (on Thursday), the less I can believe we'll actually make it there. The closer we get to our appointments, the more anxious I grow, which is the standard pattern these days. I feel kind of juicy down below and run to the bathroom, convinced it's blood (nope, just more white goo). I cramp and am scared. I don't cramp and I'm scared. And so on, and so on, ad nauseum

Speaking of nausea, I'm finally getting hit hardcore with the queasies...at 8.5 weeks! This is seriously unexpected. I'm not complaining (no, no, no, I will take round the clock puking if that's what I must to do bring this baby home). But I was finally accepting of that fact that I wasn't going to have morning sickness. Oh well, that's the kind of joke I don't mind the universe playing on me.

Finally, I want to thank Charlie Sheen for providing me with hours of distraction over the last week. Charlie, you're a true humanitarian. Reading your increasingly insane commentary on your own life both amuses me and fills me with overwhelming gratitude that LG's ideal weekend features neither hookers and porn stars nor aneurysm-inducing amounts of cocaine.


  1. gut instinct after meeting both docs sounds like the best way to go. honestly, i don't think you can pick wrong, bc both hospitals are great. just go with the doc who "speaks to you". also, just know the pros/cons of a 1-person practice vs multiple doctor practice. i thought the former had too many cons, so the latter worked for me! xoxo.

  2. I think that going with your gut is a good idea. And, refuse an u/s?? No way! :)

  3. Go with your gut!

    And I hear you, the buildup to an appt creates soooooo much anxiety. Deep breaths, zen zen zen zen. Smudgie perfect in there! And now you have the nausea to assure you of it, lucky you!


  4. I also say go with your gut feelings. If you feel comfortable with them and they have good service, etc, there's your answer!

    I'm not sure if congrats are in order for the queasies, but if you want them I'll give them! I don't think the 2nd u/s will do much harm. I had a friend who was a high risk and she had like 4 u/s in a week due to some issues she had and her little boy turned out great!

  5. Just like PP's said, go to both appointments and choose a doc based on your gut feelings.No worries about ultrasounds-- some high-risk women get them every week!!

    I would ask your doctor what percentage of his/her patients the he/she actually delivers-- you know that my doc said that she delivers 75% of her own patients & I unfortunately fell into that other 25%. When she asked me to schedule an induction around her schedule and then wasn't there for me, it was VERY stressful. So, best to have this knowledge going in!

    I'd also ask if you will be rotating among all of the docs in the practice-- some ob's have a standard practice of having you schedule an appointment with each of the docs in the practice so that you will have met them in case they end up being the one to deliver you. (While I really liked my ob, I wish that my office had done this-- it would have given me the chance to meet the man who would deliver me before I was spread-eagle in stirrups!!)

    One last thing-- if you have any specific birthing requests that you think might be an issue, ask up front. I was adament about not getting an episiotomy, I wanted my parents in the room during the delivery in addition to Rob and I did not want a c-section unless there was an emergency-- these were standard requests. The one thing I asked of my ob, was that I not be forced to push before I was ready-- meaning if I was fully dilated but that Liam hadn't fully dropped yet, I wanted to wait it out and "labor down" to let gravity move Liam down before I started pushing. My ob was cool with that. The jerk who delivered me was not.)

    Sorry I've been a crappy commenter lately, but please know I've been hanging on every word!!

  6. Definitely go with your instinct on this one. The only other consideration, and I only say this because it top of mind for me, is make sure the hospital has an on-site lactation consultant. It's been a huge help for me!

  7. I can't refuse an opportunity to get an u/s and see Boo. I simply can't. Nobody's told me (or even hinted) that's u/s is unsafe at any level, so I will see Boo at any opportunity. The result is an AWESOME book of pictures showing how quickly these little ones grow, and when they start looking like real people... well, it takes your breath away.

    As for choosing - your gut will tell you. And if you like both equally, then a pro/con list will help you out.

    CONGRATS on the nausea! LOL Sorry, hon, I know how you feel. As miserable as that part was, it was hella reassuring in a sick way, too. Here's hoping that it eases by week 12, just in time for a little-only-really-noticeable-to-you-pooch to quell those nerves.

  8. I'm so glad you're doing well - I'm only 3 days behind you and am rooting for you and your Smudgie!

  9. Ah, Charlie. It's a public service he's providing, really.

    Good luck with the appointments. I'm curious about the ultrasound question, too. I have no idea about it. It really has to be a one day at a time thing, doesn't it? I hate that. So hard not to race ahead. So hard to stay calm and carry on.

  10. I agree with Stephanie-- go with the practice whose birth philosophy is most similar to your own! As the checkups don't really matter. Anyone can ask you to pee in a cup and doppler your baby! Of course you should also like the person!!!

  11. All other things being basically equal, I agree with everyone who says to go with your gut. Some people click with you and others don't. You'll want to be comfortable with whomever you choose.

    I'm both sorry and happy for your nausea. I can't say I'd wish it on anyone. For me, it's been horrible. But I totally understand the reassurance it can give, so make the best of it!

  12. yay for symptoms!! I agree with the other commenters - go with your gut on deciding which OB to choose. Hopefully you can get a good read on the staff at both offices and feel more taken care of at one place vs. another. GL!

  13. I have no clue or advice for you on which doc to choose but I couldn't agree with you more on Charlie Sheen. Hilarious!