A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Smudgie Sloper Graduates!; or, Another Hurdle

He did it! Little Smudgie's heart rate was 140 bpm and Dr. W. said his growth was right on target. So we're...gulp...moving on to an OB once we get some referrals from Dr. W's staff.

I know that I worry a lot. I don't think that's going to stop, even though crossing this hump (solid heart beat at 7 weeks) is major for me. I think I've trained myself too well to expect the worst over the past two years to forget all those lessons right away. And, of course, it is still very early and anything could happen. I am not ready to let my guard down yet.

But Lawyer Guy posed a question in the exam room this morning after the ultrasound was over. "When can we let ourselves stop worrying?" he asked, and Dr. W. answered, "Right now."

Now that would be getting ahead of myself. What's a pregnancy without constant, crippling anxiety, after all (a pleasant experience, you say? Pshaw!). But I did let myself discuss the parent-telling with Lawyer Guy (after the first OB appointment, if we can get one scheduled for the next two weeks). And I did let myself google some images of nurseries in the color palette I've been dreaming of (and I even tried not to hate myself while doing so). And I didn't avert my eyes from the Pott.ery Barn Kids we passed on our walk from the clinic to the subway.

One step at a time. And grateful for all the support I have along the way.

25 comments:

  1. Let me be the first to say YEAH!!! Though of course "anything can happen," I know that my RE said the same thing about trying to stop worrying after the great 7-week ultrasound. You know, don't you, that this is a really important milestone, with a hugely increased percentage of likely success in a full-term pregnancy?

    I continued worrying too after this point. But in retrospect, I wish I'd focused more on the 97% and less on the 3% (those were the numbers quoted to me at the time).

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  2. Go Smudgie!

    As a champion worrier, I know how hard it is to stop worrying (or even think about stopping), even with the passing of each ultrasound and appointment that brings happy news. Worry functions so efficiently as a protective mechanism and you want to protect your heart by not letting yourself get too damn happy.

    But I can say that it gets easier, and the moments of allowing yourself to do all the things you've wanted to for so long (like daydream about the nursery and its occupant) will get longer and longer and more part of your day to day reality.

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  3. Oh my God, I just started tearing up when I got the the "right now" part of this post-- YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!! I know the worry won't stop, but it won't be terror anymore, and one day will develop into downright confidence (albeit, probably not until some point after the baby is born). I can't wait to see your posts about the nursery-- I can tell you have excellent taste.

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  4. YAY:)) Worrying really accomplishes nothing. I don't see it as a protective mechanism, because when horrible things happen, the fact that you spent the past many weeks worrying does not lessen the pain even one iota.

    Everything looks good. This is very different from the last time. I cant' tell you to stop worrying, but whenever those daydreams of what it would be like when the baby actually arrives start, don't fight them with the worry! Let hope just roam free...its a wonderful thing :)

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  5. Fantastic news! This is such a huge milestone - such a strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. Of course the worry never truly goes away, but today is most definitely a day to celebrate! So happy for you!

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  6. Graduating already! Smudgie's a superstar!

    I'm so glad to hear you had a great scan.

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  7. I am so happy to read this good news! <3

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  8. So thrilled for you! Enjoy every moment.

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  9. I find that I've been holding my breath for you, Sloper. This has made my day. I know it will be hard, but I am so much wishing you to settle in to this pregnancy and really enjoy the expecting part of expecting. I am just over the moon for you two!

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  10. Yay! Congrats! Worrying does is not productive. In fact, it does exactly what telling someone not to worry does: absolutely nothing :)

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  11. I've posted a few times in the past but have mainly been a lurker lately. First let me just say congratulations on your pregnancy!! Second I just want to reiterate what everyone else has said, that worrying won't accomplish anything ... however, I am a true worry wart at heart and have been in your shoes so I can't really talk. Also, I just welcomed my daughter into the world 3 weeks ago ... and the worrying never stops, but it's a different type of worry. I hope you have a happy, healthy 9 months!! Enjoy :-)

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  12. I think, unfortunately, you will probably never stop worrying. You know what? That's 100% okay. I worried each and every single moment of my pregnancy with Peanut. I figure I earned it. Do I regret that I had all of that worry . . . sometimes, but history lead me to that worry, and it was "Earned" as I said.

    I wouldn't try to give up your worry as a course of action, just keep on with the ways you and the counselor have developed to manage it.

    Even after Peanut was born I fretted about things. I found that acknowledging them to my husband, saying them out loud, actually lessened the anxiety and them amount of time I fixated on the issue du jour.

    Go easy on yourself. And congrats on another good appointment!

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  13. AWESOME!!!!!!!! Go Smudgie!!!! :)

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  14. Even women who don't have a history of IF-m/c worry a lot during pregnancy, at least in the beginning - although I'm sure for most it's not even close to the same kind or degree as the worry/anxiety experienced by those who have dealt with it.

    I know I can't put myself in your shoes or vice-versa, but not having experienced previous loss, I still didn't rest easy until the level 2 ultrasound at 19 weeks gave the all clear. At that point I felt I could breathe and enjoy the remaining 21 weeks, although I knew, of course, that there are always risks. I ended up with a healthy girl who is now 16 months old.

    I don't think you should beat yourself up about being worried, but at the same time do the best you can to think positively and hold on to every hurdle passed as a good omen. :)

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  15. What fantastic news! Congratulations, graduate!! :)

    Please don't beat yourself up about being worried. (((HUGS)))

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  16. Congratulations! Such exciting news!

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  17. YAY! Congrats! And I am excited to see what kind of nursery Smudgie will have!

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  18. so happy for you!!! wishing you smooth sailing in the days ahead....

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  19. Here from Mel's roundup... I remember how very hard it was to relax and how scary it was to not cling to hope. Hoping it is smooth sailing from here on out. Go Smudge Go!

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  20. Deep sigh of relief... I am thrilled for you and Mr. S.

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  21. I'm with you on always expecting the worst, but it's okay to get excited in little doses! This is great news. Congrats, graduate!

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  22. I feel like I am holding my breath right along with you. So happy and relieved to hear that all is going so well. One step at a time, hoping you get to worry-free land soon.

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  23. Sloper!!! I'm just getting caught up on posts now but this has put a humongous smile on my face. I love that your doctor told you that you can stop worrying now. I love that you are moving on to the next step.

    This is happy news. Exhaling for you:)

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  24. Congratulations Sloper, this is wonderful news!

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