A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Friday, February 11, 2011

The Sweetest Sound I Ever Heard

Smudgie has a heartbeat! And we heard it! At 6 weeks 1 day!

I am overjoyed right now and resisting every urge to undercut this with caution. This is such a happy day!

I had a terrible night's sleep last night, and so did Lawyer Guy. I woke up for the last time around 5:30 am and couldn't fall asleep, just lay there tossing and turning. I was convinced this would wind up a blighted ovum--something about my vague and intermittent symptoms put that idea in my mind.

Poor LG was also pretty shaken up this morning. He gets a "nervous stomach" during times of stress and had to run to the bathroom three times when we were at the clinic waiting to be seen by Dr. Wonderful. During his last tummy-trouble trip, she came into the exam room. I really wanted to wait for him to get back. I was so afraid of hearing bad news without him there to hold my hand. Dr. W. said she'd keep looking until he got back, but fortunately he showed up right before she started the ultrasound.

I couldn't look at the screen. I was too afraid I'd see nothing or an empty sac. I stared at LG sitting to my left as he stared at the screen. And then Dr. W. said, "We have a heartbeat" and I could finally look.

Such a little Smudge! With a heartbeat of 101 bpm! She flipped on the sound and we heard it, actually heard that tiny little thing's heart beating away, and I started to cry.

Before she left the room today, Dr. W. told us, "Don't worry. This is a good baby." I really did believe her right then and for the first time started to think that maybe this could work. When she left us alone, LG and I both hugged each other and started crying. We didn't need to say anything to know how the other was feeling.

We go back in a week, and if all is well and Smudgie has grown and the heartbeat has sped up, that will be our last visit with Dr. W. I know I will be anxious before that appointment, too. I know there are still many obstacles for this little one to overcome and much to be worried about. But right now, I am happier than I have ever been during a pregnancy.
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36 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    I never had one iota of doubt: This IS a good good good, sweet little baby!!!! So happy for you Slopie!!! xoxo

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  2. KarenFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    I'm crying tears of joy for you. I am so happy things are FINALLY working out for you!

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  3. AdeleFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    I've been waiting for this news, Sloper. WONDERFUL NEWS. I'm so glad. Happy, happy day.

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  4. Mrs. MisfitsFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    I am thrilled, Sloper. I got chills for you as I read this. Really great, great news!

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    I had a feeling this was going to be a happy happy appointment with your Dr. W. Such great news!

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  6. AllisonFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    HOORRAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! Crying the happiest of tears with you, friend!!! Can we say it now, huh huh huh?? Well, I'm gonna...

    YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

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  7. Mrs. BrightsideFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Oh this is making me cry. So so happy for you. You deserve it, and deserve to enjoy it.

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  8. StephanieFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    So happy for you both!!

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  9. KellyFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    I've been thinking about you off and on all day. I'm SO happy to have read this. I really do think Dr. W is right. I think this is a good baby and it's going to work out. I know my feelings have no basis in anything, but I always thought you and I would get pregnant in early 2011... and actually stay pregnant. Stupid premonition that is turning out true so far.

    Congrats on the great scan, babe!

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  10. SJFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Wonderful news - you and LG deserve this!

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  11. Fairytale EndingFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    Oh sweetie...I am SOOOOO happy for you! What a wonderful way to start your weekend:)

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  12. NinjaFertileFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    YAY!!!! What wonderful news!!

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  13. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    Wonderful news, Sloper! This actually made me cry. I'm so happy for you and LG.

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  14. UnknownFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    Nothing can prepare you for hearing the sound of that unmistakable, urgent heartbeat. Stef and I both lost our composure when we first heard Liam's little heart. It felt to me as if he were announcing to us in no uncertain terms, "I'm here".

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  15. hilFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    This made me tear up in happiness.
    And remembering my 6w1d happy ultrasound!
    Here's to all the coming wonderful moments!

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  16. AlisonFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Wonderful, wonderful news! And I love Dr. W's reassurance. So happy for you!!!

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  17. KellyFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:12 PM

    What WONDERFUL news!!! YAY!!!

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  18. apluseffortFebruary 11, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Good news! Good baby!

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  19. BabystepsFebruary 11, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    That is GREAT news!! Congratulations!!

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  20. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!

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  21. cdgFebruary 11, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    congrats to you, amazing news :)

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  22. RebeccaFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    YAyayayayayayayay!!!

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  23. UnknownFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    AWESOME news!!!!!!

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  24. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    what a beautiful sound :)

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  25. BBHFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    YAY! I'm so happy for you! My DH has a nervous stomach too, last time we had an u/s he had to immediately go poo afterwards and a mentally handicapped person tried to climb into his stall!

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  26. JayFebruary 11, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I'm not only happy to hear that things are going so well, but I'm EXTRA happy to hear YOU'RE happy! Wishing you all the very best! -- Jay

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  27. MVFebruary 11, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Congrats! I get nervous stomach too!

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  28. MFebruary 12, 2011 at 6:20 AM

    Congrats!!

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  29. ~C~February 12, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Congratulations, my friend, on another hurdle cleared :)

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  30. KatFebruary 12, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Congratulations!

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  31. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:22 AM

    Now that. Is awesome. Mazel!

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  32. NFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Congrats that is wonderful!

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  33. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    Go Smudgie!!! I am so happy that you got to hear that wonderful heartbeat! And I am convinced that your next appointment will be fabulous as well! This IS a good baby!

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  34. Ms. JFebruary 14, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    Was thinking about you over the weekend, and your little valentine's heart. How wonderful, and a perfect gift to have with you. Mazel!

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  35. HeidiFebruary 14, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    I don't know you, and you don't know me, but when I read what Dr. W. said about it being "a good baby," I got tears of happiness for all of you. So many of us are with you in your joy and your challenges. Best wishes, and keep us all posted.

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  36. Rachael LynnFebruary 14, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    This really brought tears to my eyes!!!

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