A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Time Keeps on Ticking: or, 4 dpiui

This going to be a bit of a random hodgepodge post, since nothing much is going on other than my slow, steady descent into irreparable madness. Every three seconds, I think to myself, "I have to be pregnant. I can't be pregnant. I must be pregnant. It's impossible that I'm pregnant."

And on and on and on.

In the meantime, Lawyer Guy accompanied me to the opera last night (more like, was dragged by me, but who's counting). It was the Met's recent production of Carmen, and I loved it. I spent most of the rest of my non-teaching time googling every bit of news that came out about William and Kate's engagement. A fun distraction from testing out my ute goggles.

* * *

Based on the two data points I now have to go on, I know that I won't have much of an idea if AF is coming or if something else is until 13 dpiui. Both positive test cycles I was positive I was going to get my period right up until that day. I keep trying to remind myself that there's just no way to know yet and that I should try to enjoy myself right now, because the tension only increases the closer to D-Day I get.

Oh, right, and I should start spotting the day after Thanksgiving, which I'm spending with LG's family this year. Awesome.

* * *

What else is there to say as I try to kill time? I'm leaning toward skipping treatments in December, but not because of my sister's wedding. After last month's chemical pregnancy I was determined to plow forward no matter what, and felt really good about that decision. But then LG received that most dreaded (to wives) of husbandly invitations: A Vegas Bachelor Party. And it's scheduled for the exactly the weekend we'd have to be on call for an IUI.

If I begged and pleaded and insisted, Lawyer Guy would refuse the invite. But I know how much he wants to go. Many of his friends have moved from the NY metro area and now have kids, so he doesn't see much of them. He confessed recently that he's been feeling kind of lonely--he's one of the only non-dads left in his circle and everyone's too busy to do the kind of socializing they used to. I know it will mean so much to him to be able to have some relaxed time with them all. And I think he would appreciate a break from having to jizz in a cup, too.

There's still the option to freeze the sperm and do the insemination while he's gone, but that doesn't appeal to me for a lot of reasons. So it's likely that December will consist of fruitless (but fun?) au natural attempts and we'll be back on the treatment horse in January.

* * *

Tick, tock, tick, tock. For now we just keep waiting. Though not as long as Kate Middleton waited for her proposal. I'll take her as my inspiration and dub myself Waity Slopie, invest in a series of figure-hugging colorful frocks, and head to a polo match. That should help pass the time.

20 comments:

  1. Oh, the agony! Only 4dpo? You're killing me. And the thought of finding out while spending a holiday with LG's family sounds horrible! It better be positive, that's all I'm saying. But bring some sort of tranquilizer just in case. I'm serious! If you explain the situation to Dr. W., I am sure she'd gladly prescribe you a few pills...

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  2. hmmm, maybe you can say you hurt your back, so that if and when his family upsets you during the holidays, you can go to your guest room and "rest". and then you can do that over and over again whenever you need a breather from them??

    it makes me sad that LG is lonely :o( i wish i could fast forward time for you guys so that you can just get to the point where you have cute little ones crawling around the apt. then you won't be lonely at all :o) SOON, my friend! xoxo.

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  3. I often think 4dpiui is worse than 10dpiui because it goes by SO SLOWLY. I like your distraction, though, as I, too, have been ALL over the Kate Middleton/Prince Wm. engagement. I eat that crap up! As for taking off next month--you won't need to, Sloper, b/c you're pregnant RIGHT NOW! I'm going to apply my mantra to your cycle, too, and believe it and say it that you are pregnant and you will be with baby by Thanksgiving :). xo

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  4. Hee hee... me too on the Waity Katie and Wills... I loves me a good royal wedding. I remember being little and my mom waking us up super early so we could watch Fergie and Andrew get married live. We lived in Canada at that time, so everyone was even more into that stuff. Hang in there Sloper!! All good things come to those who wait, even crowns! ;)

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  5. Can we call you Hopey Slopie instead?

    Swimmers were your problem for a very long time and you just deposited the world's best sample directly upon a beautiful golden eggie at the absolute perfect time and you have a fluffy lining waiting to snuggle it up. PLEASE LET THIS WORK!!! I myself am filled with hope that your Thanksgiving will be very different than you currently imagine it. Hang in there!!! xoxo

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  6. What a conundrum for Vegas. Ah, I think a polo match is well deserved. But you must involve a nice hat. I recommend your daily dose of gossip in any way that passes the time. Fingers very firmly crossed!

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  7. hoping the time goes quickly for you.
    A month may be a good thing for (although my hope is still on this current cycle). Breaks have done wonders for me personally. good luck

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  8. Hate hate hate the waiting. Hope it passes quickly.

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  9. aww, I like Hopie Slopie!! {Nice, Egg!}

    Only 4 dpo, damn. The 2 week wait sucks. Really hopeful for you this cycle!

    Hope you keep yourself nice and distracted and get some good news in 8 days :)

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  10. Oooh, I can't wait to buy your commemorative china!

    I'm sorry you have to take a break next month. Waiting is never fun. It sounds like your hubby could really use the break away with the guys, though, so that's nice for him.

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  11. I was born on the day Diana and Charles got married...my mother wanted to watch it on TV so bad she almost had me in the toilet at home. I love the idea of going to a polo match. Cherrio!

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  12. Two. week. wait. SUCKS. Here's hoping it is WORTH IT DAMNIT!

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  13. Isn't it amazing how time flies in between CD 1 and when you ovulate and then it TOTALLY drags between ovulation and finding out? WTF??? Wishing you luck! -- Jay

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  14. Argh, the two week wait nearly kills me every month, and I'm about to join you in the misery. Thankfully this time you have something to occupy you, for one day at least - eating lots of turkey which will result in lots of naps (at least it always does for me!).

    I'll be thinking about you over the next few days:)

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  15. I would like to start wearing insane but classy and beautiful hats with feather in them, a la Kate. She's so gorgeous. I think the bachelor party sounds like a solid reason for skipping IUI in December too. Hey, maybe you can get a two-fer plane ticket and I can drive a few hours, and we can have an infertiles' party with green tea and pomegranate juice and prenatal vitamins and meditation while he has his bachelor party with booze and cigars and...well, let's not think about what else ;)

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  16. My fingers are firmly crossed and will remain so for the next 10 days. I have high hopes for you. But if this cycle were to not work (but it WILL), I think a break month might be just what the dr. ordered...especially with the holidays and LG's guys weekend.

    Stay hopeful my friend!

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  17. I am keeping everything I have crossed for you. So, so much.

    I like the hurt back idea, for what it's worth. :)

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  18. Sign me up for the visit to see C ;)

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  19. I was the same way -- thoughts flitting between 'this didn't work', 'I think this did work', 'if this didn't work our next cycle would be around this date', 'maybe it worked'.

    Intuition doesn't mean *anything* during your wait, alas. But you have everything lined up for success, so I'm hoping this one worked for you!

    Stay distracted!

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  20. Sounds like a break would be good for LG. The part of him feeling lonely is heartbreaking. And hopefully, you'll get and stay pregnant this cycle and not think about scheduling IUIs anyway!

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