A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Day 22; or, Seriously CBEFM, Give Me Something to Work With

I'm starting to get a little frustrated. I'm trying to hold on to my optimism, but it's getting harder to do.

6 High Fertility readings in a row. No Peak.

I wake up and put the pee stick in the slot of the CBEFM and walk away from it thinking, "I don't expect anything, it doesn't matter, whatever it says is okay." And then there's that little sinking feeling when the reading doesn't change, doesn't say what I hoped it would, despite my assurances otherwise.

I'm so sick of that sinking feeling.

I know it's not that late. I know I'm lucky to ovulate without assistance at all. I know that we conceived the m&m ovulating on day 25 or 26. And the not spotting is a good thing!

So I'm trying to still be optimistic. And if I cried a little in the shower today, I stopped when I got out.


  1. Gosh that sounds incredibly frustrating!!! I can't imagine having that long of a cycle. I ovulate way early, so I am on the other end of things, for what it's worth.

  2. I am frustrated today, too. Started my period last night, even after having a couple days of symptoms like I had when I was pregnant. I am pretty sure I've been ovulating on time and I've had 2 consecutive 28 day cycles after the miscarriage, which I thought was a really good sign. I definitely cried myself to sleep last night. If you need anything, send me an email. Hugs!

  3. This is how I feel every time I use a freaking home test kit (OPK, HPT, whatever). You steel yourself for the worst, but it still sucks when it doesn't do what you want it to. Hang in there, your bod is doing great and I bet it will surprise you and do even better SOON.

  4. Totally frustrating. I never got a peak on the CBEFM... I gave up on using it. :(

  5. Before Clomid I didn't ovulate until CD21-24...keep up the optimism and minimize the tears (hard, I know)

  6. Thanks ladies. I'm still waiting, not sure whether I haven't ovulated yet (because all physical symptoms suggest that I have) or whether the monitor is not reading my cycles correctly post miscarriage (they say to wait two before using it).

    A note to the doctor may be in order in a week or so.

  7. Hello from one PhD candidate to another!

    My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss "veteran". You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my blog: drhousewife.blogspot.com . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

    I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

    Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at UTInfertilityResearch@gmail.com . I have included the criteria for participation below.

    Feel free to pass information along to anyone you know who might be interested in contributing to this study.

    Best of luck to you!

    Member of a married, heterosexual couple
    Both you and your spouse are between the ages of 20 – 45
    You do not have any biological or adopted children living in your home
    You are not currently pregnant
    Either you, your spouse, or both has received an infertility diagnosis
    You have received treatment for infertility in the past six months, or plan to do so in the next six months
    Both you and your partner are willing to participate & have access to the internet

  8. I hate those things. They NEVER worked for me, even on cycles where we DID get pregnant.