A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Friday, March 25, 2011

NT Recap; or, March 24th

As I walked to my OB's office for the NT scan yesterday, I couldn't help remembering making a very similar walk exactly a year before. On both March 24ths, the sky was the same vivid blue and the sun bright but chilly. On both days, I trekked up the hill toward Central Park, unsure of what I would feel or find when I reached my destination. And on both days, I felt a similar sweaty-palmed sort of worry about what was going to happen and how I'd be able to handle it. So as I tried to fight back tears yesterday afternoon, I reminded myself that I am stronger than I give myself credit for and that I'm capable of rising above my worst self when I need to.

Thank God, I didn't need to.

All continues well on the Smudgie front, which elicited huge, huge sighs of relief from both Lawyer Guy and I.

They gooped me up like a regular pregnant lady having a regular ultrasound. My baby looked like a regular baby, with the cutest little nose and fattest little pot belly. His heart beat steadily away, a regular 169 bpm.

Even so, I couldn't quite let go of the fear I hold onto like a worry doll. As amazing as it was to see the tech wake Smudgie up with a jab of the probe against my lower abdomen, I was still tensely fearing the news we might get.

The anxiety spiked again as we walked into the MFM specialist's office to get our results. And the first thing he said when we walked into his office was, "I have really great news for you."

My OB practice runs the sonography lab where we had the ultrasound done--it's right on site--so this doctor is one of the guys who could potentially deliver Smudgie if everything works out. Fortunately, he was just as nice and compassionate as all the other docs in the practice have been, eager to put our fears at rest as quickly as possible.

The great news is that Smudgie's development looks normal and healthy right now and my risk for trisomies is really, really low: I have the risk factor of a 20-year-old. So glad I had the test done! With a risk factor of 1 in 1,400 for downs and 1 in 10,000 for other trisomies, we have decided against any more invasive testing.

There was one little bit of not-as-good news. Apparently my papp-a levels are low, and low papp-a levels in the third trimester have been linked to lower birth weight. Some practices don't really do anything with this information, but my docs like to be more cautious, so I'll be having growth scans every four weeks in the third trimester (or after 30 weeks, I can't remember which). That's fine with me. As the other doctor I saw back upstairs afterward said, I can think of it as getting some extra high-quality scans that I wouldn't ordinarily have.

Our follow-up appointment with the OB upstairs was short. I was able to ask her about my sleeplessness (she said it's fine to take Benadryl) and some other minor complaints. My Level I anatomy scan is scheduled for 4 weeks from now, and she asked me if I wanted to come to the office for a quick mini-scan in between to put my mind at ease. I said I felt like I should force myself to fight my fears and wait the four weeks, even though I'd probably want the extra peek, and she said, "Don't torture yourself for no reason. Let's just schedule the appointment and maybe you'll sleep better." So we've got another appointment set up in two weeks.

I feel so happy that everything went great yesterday. As awful as the anxiety was in anticipation, I'm very glad I did the scan because this peace of mind is worth so much. And I know that there's still a long, long way to go. But as usual, I'm going to try to enjoy the happiness and peace and excitement while I feel them.

(I also want to add a quick note about the sharing the sonograms of Smudgie. I haven't posted any for several reasons: worry about jinxing things, wanting to spare my friends and readers who are still struggling, technical incompetence. But maybe the biggest reasons why I haven't posted them is one I never expected. They feel too private and too precious to share. I'm just not ready to put them out in public yet, and I honestly don't know if I ever will be.)

22 comments:

  1. Congratulations on such unquestionably good results! Smudgie is perfect-- I am so happy. And I'm glad you're getting that extra scan. 4 weeks between appointments is a bit much.

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  2. AWESOME news!!!! I've been waiting with bated breath! And, while the papp-A result is a little scary, at least they're on top of it!

    I definitely understand about not wanting to share pics. Totally OK.

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  3. Sloper, this is so, so great. I'm just delighted for you two. Go, Smudgie, go! xoxo

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  4. Congrats on the great news! I'm so glad to hear your OB is taking such good care of you!

    Also--I think images of one's uterus are extremely private! I'm not planning on sharing mine, either. I just don't feel comfortable with it.

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  5. i dunno how other ppl can do nt scans and have to wait a week or two for the full results! yaay for our mfm practice for giving us the info on the spot! congrats on awesome results! i feel the exact same way about u/s pics. too private to post, so i never have. hope you guys are breathing huge sigh of relief and able to have a nice and relaxing, worryfree weekend :o)

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  6. great news!!!! so happy for you 3!!!

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  7. So hapy for you! And it sounds like you have wonderful doctors taking care of you and your baby.

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  8. Congrats! Long-time reader, pretty sure this is my first time commenting. As an MFA, writer, and patient with 4.5 yrs of infertility and interventions behind me, your posts resonate.

    (Following a very high-risk pregnancy due to my own health, plus complications, my daughter was born at 37 weeks, healthy and strong! She is six months old).

    Anyway, thrilled to hear things are going so reassuringly well! I totally hear you on the privacy issue. I never posted any pics like that, and didn't even come out on the blog till I was 16 weeks along (I don't blog anonymously). I have only posted 1-2 pictures of her on it since she was born, will never put her name on it, and avoid specific details of her life.

    Here's a to a relaxing weekend!

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  9. Great news!! Isn't the reassurance of a good NT scan wonderful? So happy for you!!

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  10. YAY SLOPIE!!!!! I'm so happy for you. I've been anxiously checking for blog updates all morning because I wanted to hear the good news. You, Smudgie and LG can all have a wonderful, relaxing weekend knowing everyone is safe, healthy and doing great! Hugs:)

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  11. So glad it all went well yesterday!! And as for posting pics of the sonogram, that is private and you should keep it all to yourselves and enjoy that piece alone. It's nice enought you're sharing as much as you are with us.
    Take it one day and one sonogram at a time.

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  12. Great news! I love that the OB said to schedule a scan and not torture yourself too. It's okay to want a little reassurance even while you're celebrating and appreciating your pregnancy :)

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  13. I've been waiting for this post! I'm so glad that everything went well. It sounds like you have a great team who is top of things, too.

    Also, I had to say that I get it about the u/s photos. I haven't shown them to anyone either.

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  14. YAY SMUDGIE! I am so happy that everything looked perfect and I'm in love with your doctor for being willing to do an extra ultrasound to help settle your heart. This really is happening, Slopie & couldn't be happier for you. XOXO.

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  15. Yay! I am so happy for yall! Sounds like a really great appointment.

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  16. So VERY relieved for you, Sloper. Go, Smudgie!

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  17. What awesome news! I'm so very happy for you, LG, and smudgie!

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  18. What great news! I'm so glad that everything went well at your appointment. Also, your practice sounds amazing...scheduling an appointment for you just to ease your mind? That's beyond wonderful.

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  19. I am very sorry I'm so late to comment, but AWESOME NEWS!!!!!! Smudgie is perfect. There is nothing like some super intense testing to reassure you of that. Ride that sweet, sweet relief train, my friend. You are doing awesome and so is your sweet little Smudge!! xoxoxoxo

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  20. I LOVE this news, which you knew no Friday when you Tweeted about it. But I felt it needed to be said in more than 140 characters: CONGRATS! This is such a wonderful milestone and I am so thrilled for you and LG. Just over the moon for you.

    Can't wait for the next update on the little guy :). xoxo

    PS- I've totally decided I'm having a boy, too :).

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