A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Answers, Maybe; or Action, Definitely

My head is reeling right now at how fast everything is happening. I'm heading into Manhattan in a few minutes to pick up my Clomid prescription. We're planning an IUI for this cycle, and as I'm CD 6 (or CD 5 depending on how you calculate CD 1), I need to take the medication in the next three hours.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

To back up a little, my RE called me last night at 7 pm, as I was just about to leave the house to meet Lawyer Guy, my sister and her fiance for dinner. She was calling with the results of LG's semen analysis--one day after he had the test!

(And for the record, I am soooo impressed that she called me that quickly. This makes me very optimistic for the state of my care at Cor.nell. I think I need to find a new code name for her. Dr. Woman is not very descriptive, you know? So I will provisionally adopt Dr. Wonderful as her name)

So, the results of the test: Count good at 30 million. Motility good at 57%. Morphology not good at 3% after a wash (4% is now considered normal. I don't feel comfortable giving the pre-wash numbers, because of LG's sensitivity around this subject).

Based on this, Dr. Wonderful counseled going directly to monitored Clomid + IUI, as this will give the sperm a better shot at reaching an egg and more eggs to be potentially reached. She did say it's not impossible for us to conceive on our own with these stats (obviously, as we already have) but cautioned that it will likely take longer.

After all these months, this might be an answer. I don't know yet if we can say that this has been causing our problems, but it's definitely a red flag. And the plus side to morphology issues (I guess) is that if we must go the IVF route (and I'm not ready to say we need that yet-- Dr. Wonderful didn't even mention it), it appears there will be every likelihood of success, especially if my HSG results are normal.

I was relieved when she first gave me the results (I had feared learning LG had, like, only 2 million sperm in his sample). Then the more I thought about it (and googled-- bad Sloper!) the more nervous I became. Then I started thinking about getting my prescription and when the pharmacy would open and how I could do this all before leaving at 8:30 to teach. Answer: I couldn't, so I canceled class. Some things are just more important.

Ultimately, I'm still not really sure where this leaves us. I've read conflicting information on morphology, from "It's the only thing that matters" to "We don't give a crap about it." I don't want to read any more and Lawyer Guy wants me to avoid independent research into it, too. If you have anecdotes or experience with this, please just hold off on sharing for a while, because we want to sit down and chat with Doctor Wonderful about what all this means to her before we start hearing from other sources. We're seeing a fantastic doctor at one of the best clinics in the country, and if we can't trust the care we're getting here, what can we trust?

So: it's an IUI. I don't expect our first shot at bat to win the game for us, but I'm excited to be starting nonetheless. I'm happy that we're learning more about our situation. I'm happy I have a doctor I trust and like who is prompt and active in managing our care. I'm happy that Lawyer Guy seems to be taking all this okay. He's very pleased that his count and motility #s are good and is refusing to speculate about what the consequences of the morph #s will be until we speak with Dr. Wonderful. I know that men--and my LG, in particular--can be amazingly good at refusing to look at things that bother them and refusing to acknowledge their pain, and I'm a little worried about how this is going to pan out emotionally for us. But I trust him and me to do the best with this situation and to love each other fiercely regardless of our temporary and momentary traumas and distress. I'm going to have to work on being as much of a support for him as he has been for me, because we're both in this together. And that's the way it should always be.

23 comments:

  1. WOW, I'm super impressed she called you the very next day!! And how nice to actually have an answer, and a game plan for THIS cycle!! So awesome!! And I think the monitored clomid/iui cycle will just give you even more info about your body, how quickly you respond, how many follies you produce, etc! My hubby's SA came back with borderline morphology issues too, and you're so right the opinions are all over the place on its importance, so I think you're so smart to wait and see how your RE feels about it.

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  2. My first Clomid IUI cycle also happened way faster than I thought it would and because I was on Day 5, I too had to wrangle picking up the prescription with the rest of my day. I remember my head spinning. But it's exciting too! Monitored cycles can be very reassuring (I think). It's nice to know exactly what's going on with your follicles and that swimmers are getting to their destination.

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  3. That is fantastic news - who knows, your first IUI could be what works! I'll keep my fingers crossed that things work out perfectly!

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  4. I already shared with you on my husband's poor morph issue and our history. But sending you good vibes! And just a hopeful note that my husband is EXHAUSTED this morning, because he was up 3 times last night with Peanut . . . who was, ya know, the RESULT of his consistently poor morph numbers, me forgetting I was ovulating, and a Caillou video (Lil Pumpkin was watching a Caillou video in her room for an hour = free time for us, hee hee).

    HUGS! Infomation and a plan is very reassuring and powerful!

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  5. That's soooooo awesome she personally called you and the NEXT day. I am impressed! Yeaaaaaaaaah, you are cycling with Dr. Wonderful. C'mon beginners luck!!! xo

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  6. This is me keeping my mouth shut about morphology. I will say, though, that I do hate all of the conflicting opinions about it. I wish doctors would get on the same page about that kind of thing. But I am so happy Dr. Wonderful called you back right away and gave you the news personally. GOOD LUCK with the IUI! I'm crossing my fingers that you have beginners luck.

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  7. I'm so happy that your RE understands that you don't want to wait to take action! That's wonderful. I think the new name for her is perfect. I really hope this one IUI is all you need!! Oh, this is so exciting!

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  8. This all sounds so promising, Sloper! Honestly, it is good to know that there is something that's preventing you from easily conceiving thus far, but it's not SO bad that it can't be worked around with an IUI or as a last resort, IVF. I am so hopeful for you and hope it just takes a little Clomid and an IUI to do the trick. Your RE sounds amazing and like a great pick for you! So excited for you!

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  9. Wow. Definitely a quick step forward and I hope it works!!!

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  10. Calling you the next day is definitely a good sign. I am so excited for you this cycle! An IUI right off the bat!

    It all sounds very promising.

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  11. That's great that you guys got answers so fast AND that you guys can get started with treatment so fast! Dr. Wonderful sounds like an understatement. Hope you guys can have your follow-up soon so Dr. W can explain to you guys what these numbers realistically mean.

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  12. Also, I have never said "you guys" that mmany times in three sentences before. I sound like an idjit.

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  13. I am so happy that you have an awesome RE and a good plan of attack! Hoping that this first IUI is all you will need.

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  14. OMG, I'm resisting the urge right now to jump up and down screaming with excitement for you. I am so happy that you are moving forward and that there is A PLAN in place, one with a real chance of success.

    I don't know if your doc gave you a specific time to take your Clomid, but I always took mine before bed to minimize the side effects (I had a few hot flashes).

    Oh, C, best of luck this cycle!!!

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  15. Wow! Exciting! You're totally taking for-reals action! Congrats on the motility and numbers, and it sounds as though there are ways to work around the morphology. You go!

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  16. Wow, that was quick! And Dr. Wonderful seems like a great name.
    When we initially got the diagnosis of his low motility, my husband seemed to take it ok, but later it became clear that this did hit him hard. Take care of LG (I know you'll do it anyway).

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  17. Woohoo! This is very exciting!

    I very much support your decision to back away from Dr. Google. I almost always find conflicting information for just about everything I research and have learned to pretty much take everything with a grain of salt. No one really has all the answers.

    I'm so excited for you! Good luck!!

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  18. SS, I am so, so hopeful for you. Like, I got a big ol' pile of hope right here with your name on it, friend. ;)

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  19. SO glad you have a doctor you like & trust--that makes such a difference! Very excited for you for your first IUI...no reason the first one couldn't be THE ONE :) Good luck!!

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  20. Wanted to wish you good luck! My husband also has low morphology and I also just started my first tablet of clomid for our first IUI cycle today. I'll be curious to see how this goes for you.

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  21. so happy for you that you're doing the clomid this round and getting started with dr wonderful. i'm super impressed that she got the SA results back to you so quickly. my hubby had 1% morph on the kruger's scale. i'll always regret that we jumped straight to ivf and didn't try a few iui's first. patience isn't really a virtue that either of us has :o( there's no way that dr W would let you start with a clomid iui unless she thought you had a good chance. fingers, legs, all the hairs on my head crossed for you :o)

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  22. Sounds like you guys have a good plan and are in great hands! What a promising start! I think it is so important to like and trust your doctor. Here's hoping a clomid IUI is all it takes for you! Good luck!

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  23. WOOT!!! And you're off!! I'm glad you don't have to wait around any longer, and will keep my fingers crossed!!

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