A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Baby on the Go; or, Mama on the Move

When were struggling with IF, I often felt like I was walking on a treadmill while the world flew past me-- every one racing along and me stuck in one place. And now that I measure the months by Smudgie's smiles (and laughter and shrieks and dirty diapers), it feels the opposite. Time is flying so quickly I can hardly catch my breath.

Smudgie is eight months old now-- he'll be nine months in about 10 days. And he is a bundle of wild, adventurous, wiggly, sweet boyish energy. He crawls like he's doing a variation of the worm-- arms out and straight, belly and butt up, lean forward, flop down and repeat the process. But my little inchworm manages to cover some ground! If he spots certain enticing treasures (Bella's disgusting rubber ball or the cordless phone, primarily) he books it like he's doing the butterfly across a pool. He's also been spending some time in actual pools and he just loves them! He is so happy when he gets a chance to kick and splash in the water, whether he's in his little bathtub or a wading pool or being held by Daddy in a big pool. I think we've got a future swimmer on our hands.

He had his first trips in the last few months, too-- a flight to Chicago for a family wedding over Memorial Day weekend and weekend nights at Grandparents' houses (with mom and dad. We still haven't felt comfortable enough to leave him for a full night out). Smudgie does not like going to sleep in a strange place, and both in Chicago and last weekend out in the Hamptons he completely refused his afternoon nap, only falling asleep at night when his exhausted little frame couldn't tolerate another waking moment. But once he fell asleep once in the strange crib he was able to do it again the following day with much less fanfare. We're hoping this bodes well for our upcoming family trip to the Outer Banks-- we'll be renting a place for a week which should give us time to settle into a routine and not sacrifice too many naps and nights.

While Smudgie is working had to cross a room, I've been trying to tackle (slightly) longer distances, both physical and mental. In the spring I joined a local mom's running club. We trained for a 5k, I ran it in May, and loved it! I've never enjoyed running, but the camaraderie, the chance to be outside, and the physical challenge has all been just what I needed right now. I'm going to run another 5k later this summer and hope to to a 10k in the fall (more races and further distances after that would be great, but I'm trying to take it one goal at a time and enjoy the here and now). It feels so wonderful to have a physical goal that is purely, selfishly, 100% for myself. I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm not trying to make my body a perfectly hospitable place for a baby. I'm just trying to run faster and for longer distances to see if I can do it. It's great.

I'm also working on my dissertation proposal. After a semester of reading and teaching, I'm determined to have my proposal approved by the end of the summer and to start writing my first chapter. I've already received feedback from my advisor on one draft, which she thought was approvable as is but could be made more enticing for fellowship applications (so back to the editing room I go). It's hard for me to believe, but after six years in school, an end is in sight. Very, very far away still-- quite at the line of the horizon. But I am getting there.

I'll leave you with what I know the people want: Smudgie pics! This was his 8-month shot. He's a laughing, smiling, squealing boy. He loves people and Bella and daddy and splashing and broccoli and his mama. And I love him!


  1. I love your updates and seeing your gorgeous boy. The running sounds really fun and I look forward to updates on the outer banks (we are looking at a week to surf in summer). I can't believe it has been eight months!

  2. What a sweetheart - I love this photograph:) Sounds like you are doing really well, Sloper. Well done on the running - that is no mean feat. And on the diss!! Approvable already means that when you finish those revisions, it's going to be knock-their-socks-off good. I know so many people who spend years just trying to get to approvable, and so you are way ahead of schedule. Well done, you.

    I hope you have a great time on the OBX. The sleeping thing is so strange - sometimes we've gone away and O has been really perturbed and it's been hard to get into a sleeping-napping groove, other times there is zero issue. Hoping for zero issue for you:)

  3. Omg, he got so big! I feel you on so much of this post - time flies by now, doesn't it. THe more I try to slow it down, breathe it all in, the faster it speeds up. It's insane how the months have flown by. The running - I looove it. I haven't enjoyed running this much, ever. I found a Mom friend and we run together a couple of days a week. I would love to lose a few more pounds but that's not really why I do it, I just find the fresh air so cathartic and I love having an activity I can do with Cheeks in tow easily. I'm hoping to do a 10K this fall too and also improve my 5K time (I ran it in 31:14 this past weekend, I know I can do better!) I'd love to do 29:00 or 28:00.

  4. Who is that big boy?!! He's SO cute, Slopie!

    Way to go on the 5k!!!!

  5. What a cutie!!! Just like a little man. He's darling!

    I hope our sitter in Chicago worked out for you!

  6. Thanks for the update! Smudgie is gorgeous (yes, I would have been very disappointed not to get a picture!) and I am super impressed with your running and dissertation progress. Super mom! :) And the best is how happy you sound through all of this.

  7. Wow! What a big little boy! He's adorable!!

    Kudos to you, Mommy!