A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Packages; or, What's in the Fridge?

Do you know what this is?

That's 2,400 iu of Gonal-F that's currently sitting in my fridge just asking one of my sisters or parents or in-laws to visit and get all confused and concerned about it. And I am freaking excited!

I mentioned a few weeks ago the upcoming conversation that Lawyer Guy and I will need to have with Dr. Wonderful about whether to go for an injects+IUI cycle or straight to IVF. I think I also mentioned that a lovely friend of mine from my loss/IF message board is now pregnant and was looking to unload some unused Gonal-f. In the beautiful manner of todays' interconnected world, these eight 300-iu Gonal-f pens made their way from one end of New York State to the other. I can't thank her enough for sending them. Our insurance doesn't cover injectible meds, so a stash this big would have cost us quite a lot.

You know, as sad as this may sound, I think this package of meds and needles may be my favorite Christmas present this year. As long as Dr. W. agrees, we can now afford to go ahead with one (and possibly more than one) injects+IUI in the spring at no cost. We've got some real options other than IVF, and options are what makes IF most bearable.

I'd be tempted to ascribe my jolly mood to the meds in the fridge, but truthfully, I've been feeling optimistic and happy and hopeful for several days now. This is unusual: I'm in a two-week wait. I'm set to get my period on New Year's Eve. This will be our 11th failed month of TTC since last year's miscarriage. And I've been a massive Grinch up until now, as has probably been clear from this blog.

But I ovulated! And we had sex! And even if that doesn't (and there's a 97% chance it won't, according to our docs) make a baby, it still means we're starting a new treatment cycle in less than two weeks. And that really might make a baby! And once we're done with the Clomid route in February, we've got the wherewithal to try something new! And we'll save all we can in the intervening month to lessen the financial blow of IVF, if it comes to that! This is really going to work for us!

I've finally caught a bit of the Christmas spirit. Thanks to a ziploc bag of needle pens I pray I'll never have to inject into my stomach fat.

19 comments:

  1. its interesting the things that will get us excited these right?? I am hoping that those meds will not be needed afterall, but what a wonderful and generous gift to have those sent to you!!!
    Hoping the brighter mood sticks around a while.

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  2. What a beautiful Chtistmas gift... I hope that this gift brings you another. I'm sorry I've been such a crappy commenter (and blogger for that matter) but I'm always reading, sweet C. XOXO.

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  3. I love this post! Yiiiip for free meds!!! Merry Christmas indeed! Gonal-F is good good stuff. :)

    I have hope for you this month, Slopie! I don't care about 3% odds. Yeahhhhh for ovulating and perfectly timed sex-o, the 2ww and your upcoming Mexico trip and all of the fun Christmas-y stuff in between! xoxo

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  4. Wow! Do those pens come in one-dose packages or something? That's a lot of Gonal pens!!! Yay!

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  5. This *will* work! I'm so grateful for your message-board friend's generosity and that you have so many options ahead of you. Hoping this 2ww bears fruit and that you're pregnant as we type, but if not, you're on your way! And that's awesome.

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  6. What an awesome gift and what generosity on the part of your friend. I'd say it's that generosity that's helped get you in the Christmas spirit - hard to stay blue in the face of good friends and positive thoughts and hope. And HOPE is what I have for you for this cycle. You just never know... and you've done everything right.

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  7. talk about awesome xmas gifts!!! how on earth did one person have so many unsed gonal-f pens??! great for you guys :o) i'm glad you're feeling the holiday spirit and hope is creeping back in. you have an awesome vacay to look forward to, as well as a cute baby (or two) to make in the next few moths ... lots of good stuff :o) xoxo.

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  8. What a beautiful sight all that Gonal-F is! I have some sitting in my fridge now and always worry someone visiting will see it if they go grab something to eat or drink. But ya know what, who cares? Because all those pens just might bring you all the happiness you've been wanting!

    But, I'm still confident that we'll both ring in the New Year with BFPs!! And I'm really happy to see that the Christmas bug as gotten to you:)

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  9. It's so uplifting to see the sense of community surrounding IF'ers. I received a trigger shot from a fellow blogger and it was so nice not to have to spend that money if we didn't have to. And in your case, the dollar amount is much higher! So glad to hear you are thinking positively and who knows, you might not need those stinkin pens anyway!

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  10. That's a great Christmas gift! And it is wonderful to see you so positive and excited.

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  11. Jealous! I'm really dreading making that purchase. Our insurance dicks us over, too, and it's scary to think about it.

    Good luck, my dear!

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  12. That's amazing!!!! Hope you don't need 'em, but it's an incredible gift. :)

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  13. Here's hoping that you won't need them. (But I bet it's good to know they're there.) Options: thank goodness for them.

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  14. This is such a wonderful gift. I know how crazy this would seem to someone outside of IF, but damn, injectables in my stocking? Hellooo Santa! I really hope you don't need them and that you can make someone else's New Year bright. But, I'm glad you have them.

    You deserve the good mood and the good cheer. There are signs to indicated that 2011 is going to be a much better year.

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  15. What an amazing gift. I'm so glad you have the financial burden lifted a bit as you plan future treatments. But of course I am holding out hope that you will be returning that Gonal-F or re-gifting it to another IFer who needs meds.

    I seriously felt like I was opening Christmas gifts when my first package of drugs arrived in the mail. It's weird, isn't it? Hoping it's all unnecessary.

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  16. Here's to a perfect start to 2011, with AF staying away for a long long time. And that you get to "pay it forward" with the Gonal-F, to someone else who will be needing it more than you :)

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  17. I feel the same way! My IVF meds will arrive today and I swear it's like an early Christmas for me! I mean, who gets THIS excited about injectible meds!?! We do! Because it means we're doing something and maybe, just maybe this is the missing puzzle piece in this shitastic journey.

    I hope you never, ever have to use that Gonal-F and can post on your blog and Twitter that you have a boatload of it to give away b/c this cycle you got preggo au natural. My fingers are crossed--tightly--for you, Sloper.

    Merry Christmas :). xo

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  18. Here's to an amazing new year, with or without drugs, - from my end of New York to yours!

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