A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Happy Days; or, Ten Fingers and Ten Toes (Plus a Lot of Other Body Parts)

Yesterday was one of my best days ever!

It started with Part 1 of our anatomy scan (at 16w3d). I was anxious beforehand, as was Lawyer Guy, but we both did a good job of keeping busy over the weekend and keeping our mind off the fear--and everything turned out great. Smudgie looks perfect: we saw the brain, four-chambered heart beating away, the spine and stomach and bladder and kidneys (two of them, phew!). We saw veins in different parts of his or her body. The tech counted fingers and toes and measured arm and leg bones. Everything you can see at this point looked good.

I had the follow-up bloodwork for the sequential screening, but the OB we met with yesterday feel confident that the results are going to be good. We scheduled Part 2 of the anatomy scan for 21 weeks exactly, 4.5 weeks away. I did NOT schedule an intermediate peace-of-mind scan. I'm going to try to make it the entire month this time (and hope that I start to feel some reassuring movement in the meantime). And I learned that I've only gained a pound in the last three weeks, so the run-away weight gain of the first tri appears to be settling now that I'm eating more fruits, veggies, and proteins. Hooray! Happy happy all around!!

At this point, we finally feel comfortable going public. We're letting our parents tell friends and extended family, we're telling far-off friends, I'm telling people at school. It's very scary to take this plunge, but I think it's time. As Doctor Lady said when I saw her last week, statistically, our odds are as good at this point as they will be at any point. And I've got to start coming clean eventually, right? We are still keeping mum on Facebook, though.

(And speaking of Doctor Lady: thank you for your support on my last post. As I suspected, I just needed some time to process the news. She came into town for Easter week and it was amazing to see her and to talk about this experience with her. I am truly excited now that we get to share this time after all these years of waiting).

After the scan, my happy day continued! LG had to head to work, so I grabbed a healthy, yummy lunch and hit the streets for a favorite, and long-neglected, activity: Shopping!!!

I stopped off at lululemon and picked up some yoga leggings and looser work-out tops and a bigger sports bra to last the rest of the pregnancy. I've heard such good things about how comfortable their clothes are throughout pregnancy, that I decided it was worth the investment. And as a plus, I can continue to wear these clothes postpartum (fingers crossed) and after.

I also stumbled into a crazy 80% off warehouse sale at one of my favorite chi-chi stores on the Upper East Side. And this sale was FULL of loose, drapey, light, cotton and linen and jersey summer dresses and tops! I bought a whole bunch that I can belt under the boobs and wear in the summer, and then have taken in a little afterward to continue to wear once the pregnancy is over. I love it! Other than some maternity bras, a pair of maternity jeans, and a few stretchy shirts and camisoles (all of which I still need to pick up), I've got all the basics for an awesome pregnant-wardrobe and I haven't stepped foot in a maternity store!

I also picked up two little things for Smudgie. One is a gray Primp thermal onesie with panda bears on it that I got at the warehouse sale. The other was a pair of cotton footie pajamas with little grey designs all over them that I got at my favorite French children's clothing store, jacadi.

(Yes, I have a favorite French children's clothing store. Yes, I am a New Yorker. Yes, I am crazy.)

I almost cried when I bought those pajamas. I have gone into that store so many times over the last few years and touched all the little cotton clothes and the little shoes and wondered when it will be my turn to get something. Buying that little item felt so special and important (even if I haven't cut the tags off, nor will for a very long time).

I feel good about buying those little things. They're easily stashed and stored and easily ignored should something go wrong (as I learned with the m&m--we've had two onesies in a desk drawer for 18 months now). It's not like buying a stroller or a crib or a rug, none of which I'm even close to doing yet. But these purchases felt like purposeful statements of hope, rather than blind optimism. And that's a place I'm okay being in for the moment.

One last thing to say before I return to my reading. We could have found out Smudgie's sex today, but we have decided to keep it a mystery until the birth.

(For which LG should be eternally grateful, because I swear, if I had just found out the sex and then walked into jacadi, there would have been a consumer binge the likes of which has not been seen since Vivian Ward discovered Rodeo Drive.)

People keep asking how I have the willpower to resist finding out--and my MIL has threatened to come to the next scan with us and force the tech to tell her. But it isn't a matter of willpower for me. I like not knowing. I like having this time to let Smudgie just be Smudgie--a sweet little baby, not a boy or a girl yet, just a special being that I love so much. Maybe deep down I like that not knowing the sex keeps everyone else at arm's length from the pregnancy. Maybe. I don't know. But I'm finally happy to be asking a question with only good answers.


  1. We are also thinking about not finding out the sex of our baby. People keep telling us we are crazy but it seems totally normal to me! Glad I am not the only one!

  2. I love this post, so much happiness and hope and joy in it!

    like you, I enjoyed the mystery of the baby just being the baby for so long. now, I'm getting so excited to find out at the birth but i definitely am glad we waited.

    Hooray for another great appointment and great scan!

  3. Yay for such a great post!! I'm so glad things are so good!

  4. so thrilled to read this update, and especially that you are letting hope & belief take up just a bit more residence in your mind.

    I don't think I bought any clothes for Peanut until I was 32 weeks along, out of the same fears you described. My aunt bought an outfit and gave to me 4 weeks prior and it panicked me big time.

    It really made my day to read this ;o)

  5. I'm so glad you're letting the hope in! Great to hear that Smudgie is thriving and doing everything a little Smudgie is supposed to be doing. What a good kid.

  6. Oh, Sloper, you sound so happy! I am melting, reading this post.

    And a stylish maternity wardrobe? Adorable french jammies? All just wonderful!

  7. So I have been reading your blog for a bit but have never commented. I am just so happy for you that things are going well and I can't believe you are 16 weeks already! That is awesome! Anyway, I just feel it deep down that things will be great and work out for you and your guy! I don't know you at all but still feel like I know you a little and am rooting for you!

    And I must say, the NY thing with the shops and fashion and such just makes me a little jealous as I am a midwesterner now living in Colorado and we just don't have much of that glamour and awesomeness that is new york here! :)

  8. Yay!!!! Congrats on an awesome appointment. And yes, I did see you in the office yesterday morning (I thought it might be you). I'll email you back shortly:)

    So happy for you, LG and Smudgie!

  9. Oh, Sloper, I love where you are right now. So full of good news and hope grounded in reality and utterly founded optimism. It just rocks. Also...I want you put in an order for a onesie for Smudgie. I just embroidered my last order and I got time on my hands between now and the Smudgester's birth. It doesn't have to be right away, but that's something I'd like to give S. Got it? I'll tweet you some samples. Lovelovelove.

  10. so, so happy for you!!! next time you are on UES, please come say hello to me!!!! much love to you and this little one.

  11. Glad everything is looking good :)

    And yeah. I totally snorted at the WASPiness (though I know you're actually a WASC) of "my favorite French children's clothing store."

  12. I'm so glad for this news Sloper, and I teared up at your last paragraph. Smudgie is much loved, and will be much loved when s/he meets you in a few months. So glad all is as it should be and that you can finally tell. The purchases sound PERFECT.

  13. This just might be the best post ever: a healthy scan, you're coming out, you bought maternity clothes, you bought baby clothes and you made a Pretty Woman reference? Oh, Slopie, I love you.

    P.S. You can bet there will be more gifts coming to match one of those little onesies that has been stashed away for many months!

  14. I so love the fact that you have a category called "happiness." This post just exudes it and its a perfect fit! I am so glad that Smudgie is doing so well and that you really got to enjoy your day!!

  15. What a great post! You sound like you are in such a good place right now! LOVE!

  16. So glad to hear that everything is going well!! I can't decide if we will want to find out or not. I always thought NO WAY...but now we've waited so long to get to this point...I just don't know. Good for you for sticking to what you wanted to do!

  17. I love your updates; so glad to hear from you!

    I don't know if you're into these things but I gave you an award so if you'd like it you can check it out on my blog.

    Otherwise I'm so happy for you that you're doing well!

  18. It's wonderful to know that things are going well and the happiness and peace of mind that gives you. What a different and better place to be in, right?

    I understand not wanting to know yet if Smudgie is a boy or girl. It's so easy to know these days, but so lovely to just wait for a surprise. And what you wrote about wanting Smudgie to just be a sweet baby that is loved so much... beautiful. Continued best wishes!