A blog about babies: the babies I lost, the babies I never had, the baby who made me a Mama.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I Should Be More Careful; or, Day 17

Day 17. No egg whites. CBEFM still reading low. Am I not going to ovulate on schedule this month (generally before day 22)? Or at all?

Part of me kind of wants me to not ovulate...because then I can go into the doctor next month and start testing and figure out what's going on get me knocked up through whatever means possible.

And part of me really, really wants to ovulate. Because if I don't...then maybe I have a problem and this isn't just normal, oh-it-takes-the-average-couple-at-least-six-months stuff.

I started to cry in the car this morning on my way to teach. Just thinking--I'm broken, I'm broken.

This fucking roller coaster.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there-- I'm a new reader, stopped in from The Bump. Just wanted to tell you that I'm in the exact same place as you, feeling the exact same thing. Reading your blog was a breath of fresh air!