tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post6778469355998950550..comments2023-05-09T02:54:19.314-07:00Comments on Park Slope Promised Land: Giving Thanks; or, Planning the UnplannableSecret Sloperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16007764157682145537noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-83985031689956854612011-11-30T18:48:23.715-08:002011-11-30T18:48:23.715-08:00I hear that the second one comes easier. Maybe tha...I hear that the second one comes easier. Maybe that's an old wives' tale, but I'm clinging to it fiercely! :) Or at least, trying to stay as naively hopeful as possible.Lesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01015353387009923240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-39595077909916806262011-11-26T06:40:52.863-08:002011-11-26T06:40:52.863-08:00I feel ya. Tabling those topics for now sounds li...I feel ya. Tabling those topics for now sounds like a good idea. I'm sure LG loves Smudgie to pieces, but when he's bigger and doing more, LG might feel more connected and be more willing to do whatever it takes for a second child.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02571149055152186880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-43529288605390538802011-11-26T06:40:25.429-08:002011-11-26T06:40:25.429-08:00I feel ya. Tabling those topics for now sounds li...I feel ya. Tabling those topics for now sounds like a good idea. I'm sure LG loves Smudgie to pieces, but when he's bigger and doing more, LG might feel more connected and be more willing to do whatever it takes for a second child.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02571149055152186880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-12863473659273867112011-11-24T06:55:03.332-08:002011-11-24T06:55:03.332-08:00I also don't want only one child, but as Katie...I also don't want only one child, but as Katie said, after spending a fortune we may not be able to have another. It sucks. ((hugs)) and have a great Thanksgiving!Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16628425225127969675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-79131800049432656312011-11-22T21:33:18.802-08:002011-11-22T21:33:18.802-08:00I agree with nurslouisa. We haven't had the co...I agree with nurslouisa. We haven't had the conversation yet but I see it on the horizon. Like you, I don't want to wish any of it away, even the tough moments. Like you ii'm ternally thankful.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06955659206478903815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-1153296972198571032011-11-22T05:51:12.614-08:002011-11-22T05:51:12.614-08:00You are so not alone in this conversation. I think...You are so not alone in this conversation. I think it's normal to not want to go through what you went through for #1 for #2. I do think it's funny that normally it's the men that are hesitant where as we women are more willing even though we were the ones who did the heavy lifting so to speak. Whatever you decide will be right.nurslouisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749921400852799303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-4200428367680576442011-11-21T22:36:23.166-08:002011-11-21T22:36:23.166-08:00I imagine all these conversations will be tough. I...I imagine all these conversations will be tough. I hope that Smudgie won't be your only baby, but if he is I know you will have cherished every moment with him.<br />You don't have to answer if it is too personal, but I'm curious if you are going to use birth control while Smudgie is tiny. I've wondered what I will decide if I ever have a baby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-40729299801072122052011-11-21T18:39:23.797-08:002011-11-21T18:39:23.797-08:00My husband and I were just talking about this exac...My husband and I were just talking about this exact thing. I'm hormonal and crazy sad lately and still have a month to go with this pregnancy, and already I'm thinking (1) I don't know if I want to do this again - sadly, I am just not one of those people that likes being pregnant, and yes, I get how awful that sounds as an IFer, but I just don't, and (2) as much as we'd both love to adopt, I don't feasibly see us coming up with $25k+ to do that. However, I don't want an only child though, so...! <br /><br />Who knows...so much can change, but I definitely feel like this will be a "decision" we make - whether to pay for ART or adoption or stop with 1...it just doesn't feel real that we could even have a chance to conceive #2 naturally. <br /><br />I hate IF. I am beyond grateful that we are getting 1, but I hate that IF will always be a part of how I think.Joshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13423295019681051881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-14815294294912130062011-11-21T17:19:17.424-08:002011-11-21T17:19:17.424-08:00I am so, so glad that Smudgie is yours now. But s...I am so, so glad that Smudgie is yours now. But still, to have to reconstruct your idea of what a family--your family--is, that's tough stuff. We're even farther from thinking about subsequent children than you and LG are, but the idea of maybe having only one when we've always talked about and dreamed and imagined two...not easy to wrap the head around. As you said, keep stroking that beautiful little head for now. Have a magical holiday. xoxoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-73706257538674840192011-11-21T16:53:51.300-08:002011-11-21T16:53:51.300-08:00It's a tough thing to think about. People keep...It's a tough thing to think about. People keep saying to us, "With your first adoption..." and in my head I'm thinking, "With (likely) our only adoption..." Because I have to be realistic. After spending $25,000, this will probably be it for us. I don't know if we can afford to buy a second chance at parenthood. So, when the time comes, I just plan on doing my best to cherish our baby. Because there's a good chance it will be our only.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com