tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post1454050455172277419..comments2023-05-09T02:54:19.314-07:00Comments on Park Slope Promised Land: An Unexpected Post; or, Scared of PerfectionSecret Sloperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16007764157682145537noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-58901177893003195782011-04-23T10:39:40.753-07:002011-04-23T10:39:40.753-07:00This is the same range of emotion i went through w...This is the same range of emotion i went through when i found out my sister in law was pregnant at the same time i was, and i was alreaady 3 months pregnant. it's hard to explain the feeling of overwhelming anxiety, happiness, and fear. it was wonderful to know the babies would be the sme age, but i couldn't shake the feeling of "what if". you know what i mean. good luck to you both, this is going to be such a fun time for you ladies!Wifezzillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13488747777549305216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-53767920460442571962011-04-22T07:32:58.355-07:002011-04-22T07:32:58.355-07:00I've just nominated you for a much deserved Ve...I've just nominated you for a much deserved Versatile Blogger award!!! You can pick up your award on my blog! http://ourstorkgotlost.blogspot.comBridgethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07473074415260386542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-51934902594949536772011-04-21T02:38:20.688-07:002011-04-21T02:38:20.688-07:00I can understand your feelings. You have been thro...I can understand your feelings. You have been through a lot. You are being cautious. I am happy for you though. I hope you can find peace in this dream come true.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-61427010917240985252011-04-19T15:08:25.667-07:002011-04-19T15:08:25.667-07:00Pregnancy doesn't fix the brokenness of your l...Pregnancy doesn't fix the brokenness of your loss. It's ok to feel this way!Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.?https://www.blogger.com/profile/13930605269034903186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-7415929075045128462011-04-17T19:08:00.725-07:002011-04-17T19:08:00.725-07:00The issue is nitrites. The jury is out... but goog...The issue is nitrites. The jury is out... but google 'nitrites and pregnancy' to see some of the various issues and controversies. <br /><br />I just decided to steer clear and eat only nitrite-free bacon (uncured) during pregnancy... but it's prob. fine!Lesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01015353387009923240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-59832766882525610412011-04-15T10:42:45.208-07:002011-04-15T10:42:45.208-07:00I realized something the other day: being pregnant...I realized something the other day: being pregnant doesn't mean an end to mourning. We carry that mourning with us, even while we're glad to be here. It doesn't negate the gladness, or the hope, but they're uneasy bedfellows. <br /><br />I can understand your sudden fear. I don't think it's going to be realized, in any shape or form. But I understand it. Having gone through a period in which things have gone badly it is very, very difficult to believe that they might actually go well. <br /><br />Hugs, Sloper. You are doing great.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06955659206478903815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-30539709421614208362011-04-14T08:39:58.663-07:002011-04-14T08:39:58.663-07:00even if a little later, i'm soo glad that you&...even if a little later, i'm soo glad that you're having babies at the same time and that they will grow up to hopefully be great friends as well!! the fear won't ever fully go away, but you're doing great. just wait until smudgie starts kicking, and you'll be in heaven. and the reassurances from those kicks will be huge :o) xoxo.siennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16982230898962770375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-70218735273824460872011-04-14T08:09:37.920-07:002011-04-14T08:09:37.920-07:00((hugs))
The scars really do run deep like AplusB...((hugs))<br /><br />The scars really do run deep like AplusB said, it's so hard to shake that feeling that it's never, ever going to happen for us. I still feel that way and I'm 34 weeks along. But, this is happening, sweetie. Smudgie is here to stay and your friend's baby and smudgie will be friends too. xoALhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09150067629614839175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-79480452592833717982011-04-14T02:54:44.219-07:002011-04-14T02:54:44.219-07:00IF scars run deep and it's impossible to ever ...IF scars run deep and it's impossible to ever look at pregnancy or motherhood without the waves of fear, jealousy, all that stuff. But remember that we also have the gift of being so incredibly thankful for what we have. Even though it's not as you'd imagined, it will still be special to share your pregnancy with your sweet friend.Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02010422089639320117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-87289459759268766742011-04-13T21:23:46.116-07:002011-04-13T21:23:46.116-07:00That is so sweet and wonderful and exciting, and I...That is so sweet and wonderful and exciting, and I'm so sorry you can't enjoy it to the fullest :-(~C~https://www.blogger.com/profile/17023387821284924172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-3015629511774117542011-04-13T17:31:18.396-07:002011-04-13T17:31:18.396-07:00Reading this post reminded me of me a year ago. W...Reading this post reminded me of me a year ago. We lost our son at 5 1/2 months and it is something i deal with almost daily still. Then about a month after 1 of my best friends tells me she is pregnant. I wanted to tell her so badly that we were trying again but was unsure because I felt false hope and I didn't know how to be happy to "maybe" have a baby again.<br /><br />Then a month or so after that we found out we were pregnant and I was due only 2 months after her. <br /><br />At 20 weeks I found out I was having a girl, just like her. It was then that I feared the worse! I wanted to be happy but what if it wasn't going to happen and the 'what if's' just kept coming. But her pregnancy seemed like it kept my pregnancy and hope alive and exactly 2 months and 3 days after she gave birth, I too gave birth to a beautiful girl and to watch these 2 girls about to turn 1 and play together all the tims is something I thought I could only dream about.<br /><br />So the point is, the what if's aren't going to go away, it's something we'll always live with and deal with as a scar of life, we'll be jaded forever because of the things we've gone through but you'll eventually get your happy ending. ANd it's not until you see your little one playing with her litle one that you'll be able to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.Loredanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10281756601492887263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-30414793197697438962011-04-13T14:07:17.664-07:002011-04-13T14:07:17.664-07:00First, I adore your best friend. She sounds like s...First, I adore your best friend. She sounds like such a great, close friend and confidante. And second, I totally get what you're saying. I honestly think that we'll have this feeling of "What if" throughout the entire pregnancy. IF has done that to us and we can't erase our past and what we've experienced. We just can't. So instead we push on, knowing that even though we can't change a thing we're still scared to death about ... everything. <br /><br />I just keep telling myself that the doctors said everything is ok, just like they've said about Smudgie. And I have to learn to trust in them. It's amazingly difficult to do. But I guess it's part of letting go, therapy for us infertiles, if you will. <br /><br />Hang in there. I'm hoping that the hope you once felt returns. I know it will. xoxoSo-Calledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995728640451748880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-31262700889432284772011-04-13T10:09:43.651-07:002011-04-13T10:09:43.651-07:00Because through IF, we determine that we are, in f...Because through IF, we determine that we are, in fact, broken and beyond repair. And that dreams don't come true for us. That unabashed happiness will never be ours, not really. Although nobody will ever tell us those things, it's what we tell ourselves - fair or unfair. That mindset becomes our reality. Negativity is far harder a habit to break than optimism.<br /><br />I'm crying with you, and for you. And my hope is that you (we) realize that happiness isn't something unfairly reserved for others; that we can have it, too.<br /><br />And that sometimes, dreams really do come true. Like this one is for you. XOAllisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02571149055152186880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-18681021337563927142011-04-13T09:56:09.412-07:002011-04-13T09:56:09.412-07:00I know how you feel. My best friend is 2 weeks be...I know how you feel. My best friend is 2 weeks behind me and I am scard she will get her healthy baby and something will happen and I won't. Then I will always have a reminder. It's petrifying.Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06248293979879390754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-55339513847784205332011-04-13T09:38:56.004-07:002011-04-13T09:38:56.004-07:00That's so incredibly awesome. It's amazin...That's so incredibly awesome. It's amazing that you have such a great, committed friend. It's also amazing that one of your lifelong dreams seems to be coming true. I know that the infertile in you is doing everything to protect itself right now. That's inevitable. However, try to take this in. Relish it.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16239548717452353436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-23823734576582982672011-04-13T09:11:10.667-07:002011-04-13T09:11:10.667-07:00Loneliness. I think that nails it.
It will be suc...Loneliness. I think that nails it.<br /><br />It will be such a happy thing! Such a blessing to share your pregnancies! It for sure WILL be. Right now, well, it makes you feel a bit forlorn. I know exactly what you mean. Hugs, Sloper.Lesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01015353387009923240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-27715416155663970392011-04-13T09:01:23.244-07:002011-04-13T09:01:23.244-07:00Wow. That's incredible. And I think it will be...Wow. That's incredible. And I think it will be absolutely wonderful to have newborns near each other in age. I TOTALLY get your nervousness and worry and sadness. But I also 100% believe that you will end up with a take-home baby this fall.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1370623155565789372.post-31543292931464441482011-04-13T08:28:17.133-07:002011-04-13T08:28:17.133-07:00((HUGS)) Just keep reminding yourself that her hap...((HUGS)) Just keep reminding yourself that her happiness last time was NOT the cause of your sadness, and it is PERFECTLY 100% POSSIBLE for you BOTH to experience that joy together this time. Hang in there Sloper...Joshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13423295019681051881noreply@blogger.com